Thursday, June 17, 2010

Breaking Down for God

I took my kids to their dad's for the summer Sunday afternoon. My gas tank was low and I figured since I had 2 lines above E, it would make it to the next neighboring town over to fill it up. Gas is a bit cheaper over there and it's only 20 minutes away. Boy, was I wrong! 5 minutes before I get to the gas station and right before the city limits sign, my car starts "coughing" and slows down to shut off! I pull over to the side ofthe road and start saying outloud, " no, no, no, this can't be happening!" But of course it can be happening, that is the is the logical part of my brain talking. I kindly tell it to "shut up" and start to wonder what do to.
I could call my dad, but he would be extrememly upset with my lack of planning and paying attention to my gas gage. This has happened before. He is a huge stickler for fill up at a quarter of a tank. He would also charge me more to "teach me a lesson". Ugh, aren't dad's great? Plus there is the well known lecture of "I am going to burn up my fuel injector" again and spend a few hundred dollars replacing it again. Don't get me wrong, my dad loves me and is always supportive, but he has his hang ups, taking care of cars is one of them.
I roll the windows down and place my head on the steering wheel as I think about my situation that I have placed myself into. The kids are in the back seat talking and asking me questions that I don't want to answer. I pray for an answer. I hear a whisper. "Get out and pop the hood to appear broke down". So I did that.
Now what?
I walk over to the side of the car that is against the ditch and place my head down on my open window and continue to pray. "Dear god, please help me get out of this. I dont want to call my dad. I know this is my fault. I should have put gas in the tank before I left town. Please help" I keep praying these words and within minutes my prayers were answered!
A guy with 3 little ones in the back seat pulled up and asked me what was wrong. He was driving a beat up car with 2 doors and the cutest 3 little dirty kids I have ever seen in my life! They had clearly been playing in the dirt all day having a good time :-)
He made a phone call and came to my rescue. He offered to drive me and my kids to get the gas I needed. Only problem? We would have to put 5 kids in the back seat. I momentarily freaked. This is something I never do and I wondered if he had enough seatbets, etc. God must have put a hand my shoulder, because I agreed and felt ok with it. Anyone who knows me knows this is waaayyyy out of character for me.
So we all get into his car and go on our way. After a trip to his brothers and to the gas station my problem was solved. After offereing to pay him, which he refused to accept, I drove off to the nearest gas station thinking to myself "I wonder if he realized he was doing God's work"

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Back Pain & Skype

Yesturday was a busy day and I think that I hurt my back again! Ugh! I have having extreme (extreme for me) back pain that lasted almost a week. The pain was really low down my spine almost the my buttocks. It finally went away and after yeturday it's back! And I didn't even think I did any heavy lifting, out of normal.
I am still working on my day care and was able to get an awesome pack n play for $20 with extra sheets for the bottom! Yeah! And a small toddler picnic table for $3. I have to do a little bit of work on the table to make it more study, but it will look nice in the end. I plan to paint it as well.
After making a trip to the mall and the grocery store I came home to put it all away. It was then that I started to feel my back pain again. I have no idea how this pain is getting started or what triggered it. I am just going to take some Advil for it and hopefully it will gone again tomorrow.

On another note, I had discovered skype! My hubby and I downloaded it to our computers because we have been having issues with MSN's video/webcam link being slow or freezing. So far we love it! The picture is much more clearer and so far it's not slow or freezing on us. Yeah! For now we are using it in place of MSN and Yahoo. We haven't used yahoo in months because it seems to do worse than MSN. We have been using skype for about 2 days now and so far I would recommend it! One thing it does that I am not sure if I like or not is that when you download it you can optionally put in a plug-in for firefox that allows you to click on any phone number to place a call through skype's softphone. You have to pay to call that number, but it's convenient. I guess it would depend on how often you would need to do that. For the time being I think I will still use my cell phone or my magic jack to place calls.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Happy Birthday to My son!

Tomorrow the kids go to their's dad's house for the summer. But for today, we spend a nice relaxing day celebrating my Carl's birthday! I can't believe that he is turning 10. That makes me a 10 year survivor of PPCM, or in layman's terms, pregnancy induce heart failure.
He decided that he wanted to go see the new Karate Kid movie, which was an awesome movie! I am always worried about remakes just because they are never as good as the orginials, but they did an AWESOME job on it. Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith was awesome! Jaden is a great little actor and in some ways remind me of how his father, Will Smith acts. I give the movie an A+!
My son was thrilled with getting the next copy of "Diary of a Wimpy Kid". He now has 5 books in the series and all he is lacking in the last one, "The Movie Diary" My mom got him a new Wii game, which he is playing right now. After a long match (because we failed to get a birthday candle) in his ice cream along with singing Happy Birthday, he was one happy kid.

We also spent the morning blueberry picking and ended up with 5lbs of delicious blueberries. The kids enjoy picking them more than eating them, but I think Carl is finally coming around to liking them in small portions.

And of course I can't forget about Mikayla....she made the honor roll the last quarter of the school year! Yeah!! She is now going to 2nd grade!

They grow wwwaaaayyyyy too fast!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Tech Support from India

I really despise overseas customer service when they can't speak and understand english very well. I had to call Kodak because of having issues with the print quaility of my printer. I was on the phone with a man who has an Indian accent. No big deal, but he has to spell out everything and I had to spell out everything even the name of my town, which is an easy one. Grrr!
I ended up having to purchase a new print head for my printer and while breaking down the costs, the print head, shipping and taxes, I had to ask what the $2.13 charge was for.

Me: What's the 2.13 for?
CS Rep: The print head is $24.99, the shipping is $6.50, the $2.13 is the field test. The total is $33.62
Me: What's that? Field test? What is that and what is it for?
CS Rep: Ok, the print head is $24.99, the shipping is $6.50, the $2.13 is the field test. The total is $33.62.
Me: What is a field test? What does it cost $2.13?
CS Rep: The total is $33.62. The print head is $24.99, the shipping is $6.50, the $2.13 is the field test.

**Ok, at the point, I need to break it down for him before I start to raise my voice**

Me: I understand the print head is $24.99. I know what that is. I know and understand the $6.50 is for shipping. But what is the $2.13? What did you call it? Field test?
CS Rep: The total is $33.62. The print head is $24.99, the shipping is $6.50, the $2.13 is the field test.


Me: Do you understand what I am asking? What is the $2.13 charge for?
CS Rep: Ok, Miss Tammy. The $24.99 is for the print head
Me: I know what that is and understand
CS REp: $6.50 is for shipping
Me: Yes, I understand that and have no issues with this charge.
CS Rep: And the $2.13 is for field test
Me: Yes!!! That is what I don't understand what it is. What is its purpose?
CS Rep: Let me put you on hold for a moment.

** At the time I don't know if they know what they are talking about and wondering what kind of BS answer I was going to get**

CS Rep: Thank you for holding. The $2.13 is a govemt pax that they charge us and we have to pay that.
Me: Oh, you mean government taxes?
CS Rep: Yes
ME: I was hearing everything else, not government tax.

Why is it so hard for US companies to employ reps that can actually speak fluently with US customers?

Monday, June 7, 2010

Another Crazy Weekend

This weekend was busy, well sorta. :) Every Friday night in our house is family night. The kids look forward to it each week. We put a pizza in the oven and plug in a movie or compete against each other in the Wii. Sometimes both if the movie isn't cooperating.
Saturday we went to the thirft store. I love browsing 2nd hand just never know what you are going to find. This week I found some really pretty wooden word cut outs. One says "grace" and the other says "love"
This won't be their final resting place, but I really like them!

Saturday we went to my little cousin's birthday party. She turned 7 years old. It was held at Camp Good News, a camp facility where there is a play ground, lake, water slid that goes into the lake and more. Mikayla jumped out of the car and was taking off her dress to reveal her swimming suit, dropped her towel and was down at the water before I could even get our things half way to the picnic tables! She was a dried up mermaid itching to get wet! The bad part is I wasn't able to get her sunscreen on before she made it to the water. So she got a little red. I will have to know next time to apply her sunscreen before we leave the house.
The kids and I had a great time going down the slide all together and seperately. We swam out to the floating dock and jumped off.

Sunday was a glorious day! My kids got baptisted at church!

I soooo was happy for this. They completely profess that Jesus is the saviour. I don't think quite understand the symbolisim for the baptism, but they understand the rest. Mikayla really believes that God and Jesus hears her and she can talk with them. How awesome is that?! And she is only 7. Carl also believes, I don't hear him pray in the way that Mikayla does, but connects in his own way. They both were excited about being baptisted and thought the experience was fun and great.

Next weekend we are going blueberry picking and then they go to their dad's for their summer visit with him. One more week of school here!

Friday, June 4, 2010

What to do?

Well, I woke up to a surprise. Money in my checking account. It wasn't money I was expecting, but I know where it cam from and why. Now it is extra money...what to do with it?
There are many possibilities from putting a little extra into a debt, using it to get my daycare started or put it in savings until I decide. I still don't know what is going on with my ex's job situation, so I am hesitant to make any decisions. But I hate doing nothing as well. Why is it that God loves patience? I guess it is easier for him since one year to us can equal one day to him, but grrr....I need to know! :-)

Thursday, June 3, 2010


Maybe I am PMSing, but do you have those days where you feel like you just want to scream, kick and beat something up? I am having one of those days the last few days and I can't seem to shake it. Between the big things and the little things, I just can't get myself back on track. I think it's just too much uncertainity right now for me that I just can barely handle all the stress.
I lost my unemployment money a few months ago. Not that I wasn't looking for a job, I was. My challenges are that I am bascially a single mom. Yes, I am married, but for the last 3 years and and till only God knows when, I am on my own. My husband, who is not a US citizen is living in Costa Rica, his home country. That is challenge #1.
Challenge #2 is because of past decisions (or lack of) I don't have a college degree. I graduated high school with honors, but not much after that. I took some college courses, but I never finished. I have high hopes of being an entrepeneur, but haven't made anything with that. Always looking for my niche.
Challenge #3 is that I am not able to work a job with evenings and weekend shifts. I have no childcare for my 2 school aged children.
Challenge #4 is that I have very little outside work expereince. Appearently being able to manage a home, 2 kids with ADHD, schdudules, being a GSA leader amoung other things are not considered real work experience. Or at least it feels like it.

So being that I haven't been able to find work, I have been searching for ways from job searches to working for myself. I have tried having an online store, making things for sale (but that kinda took the fun out it for me), selling Avon, which I still do, teaching Bradley Birth Classes and now I am looking at starting a home daycare.

Just as I decide to work on putting together a home daycare, my ex calls me and gives me a heads up. (I guess he isn't a complete pain in the butt) The company he works for may be loosing their contract which would equal no work for him, which would equal no child support to me for my two kids.
Now what? If that happens I could loose everything. Then what's the point of the home daycare? I don't know what I should do or not do. The only thing I have for definate is that if I do loose my house and all of my income, I will move the kids and I to Costa Rica with my hubby. He is going to school to become a teacher and will have a job hopefully by the end of the year.
I just hate living with all the incertainity that I have to deal with right now. I have to keep it together in front of the kids, but even they are not fooled. My son can tell I am not happy and even has questioned me about it. They deserve better, but it I just don't know how to do it all alone.
Sure my parents, especially my mom says that I could get federal aid (welfare) but who wants to live like that? That is no way to live. It wouldn't keep my house or bills paid and...and..I don't know. I just pray it doesn't get any worse.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Keeping it Together

Today has been a bit low for me. You know, those days when all of life's pressures seem to come on you all at once. I think, if only I can get to bed earlier tonight it will all be better tomorrow, but I say that to myself only half believing it. I just feel worn. and I miss my hubby. He is like my rock in my life and being without him for the last 3 years have been really hard. With each day that goes by, it feel a bit more need to be with him. I am tired of being without him.
Stupid immigration laws!
I have been doing my best to believe and trust in god's plans for me, but when my life is falling apart all around me I wonder if he does know what he is doing. I truely believe that he does, but I just don't know what to do. Yea, I know, nothing, god will work it all out. I hate doing nothing.
A friend of mine on facebook posted an old song from Uncle Cracker that I had forgotten about and it instantly made my miss my hubby. I am singing it as my daughter is crawled behind me and hanging on to me while we enjoy it together.

Yea! For School Unfiroms!

The school district in which I live in has been debating school uniforms for years. It has recently taken a hot seat again because of some publicized events that happened. In the area that I live, we have a radical church that most people are not tolerant of. There were a few days in which the children that attend that church wore t-shirts that said "Islam is the devil" and when the schools asked them to change their shirts, they filed a lawsuit stating that is infringed on their rights. There has also be a few other incendents, but this one comes to my mind the most.
Last night our school board voted on distric wide uniforms and it was approved in a vote of 3-2! I for one and in favor of it and am happy with the vote. My children are in elementary school and I think it will help in the long run.
I have also been to Costa Rica a few times and have in-laws that live there. I see the social classes mixing more in school and learning from each other. Sure, they will still know who has the money and who doesn't, but when they are all dressed in uniforms, it gives an outward apprearnce of being on the "same play field" just like when they play together in sports and other activities.
School shopping will be easier for me this year!!

Monday, May 31, 2010

Empty Handed

This morning I was browsing craig's list. Doesn't everyone just love browsing there sometimes? It has become sorta one of my "at-home" window shopping places. I just love to see the great deals and free stuff people get rid of. I have been able to get a few of the free items and good deals. Yesturday I was browsing the "wanted" section and found an ad for some poor guy actually asking for viagra pills! :O I was shocked, but had to chuckle!
Any who, I was browsing the free section when I saw a posting for free retail counters from a place that went out of business here. Wow! I can use those for the home daycare I am setting up! So I called and was told that she was meeting a few people in 30 mins to look at them. So I called my dad (he has a truck, I don't) to take me there and see if I can get any. But I was too late. :( As we were driving up, their loaded truck was driving away.
So I left empty handed. I am eager to get my daycare up and running, but on a limited budget it's hard. I just keep praying that this is the right thing for me to be doing and if it's meant to be, then God will provide a way. I just hate the waiting part!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Life Changes, so does my blog!

Welcome to the new me. Well, sorta. I still have that weight to loose. I still haven't lived with my hubby for almost 3 years now and I still am raising to kids. My son, Carl is 9.5 yrs old with ADHD and is taking Concerta for it. My daughter, Mikayla just turned 7 and will probably be diagonised ADHD next fall. She shows almost all the signs for it!
If anyone has an ADHD child, I highly recommed the website, It is a wealth of information for people with ADHD of all ages, not just children. I have been finding it very helpful and I have just tapped into it!
I am not too much into formal introductions that are all rosey on the internet, so I hope that you don't mind that I just get right into it. I have been unemployed for almost 1.5 yrs. Nothing too exciting there, just about everyone has been touched by this or knows someone who has with this recession that our country has gone through. My unemployment checks have run out, and I have been getting by on child support and my first time ever on a new food stamp card, not called EBT. Like changing the name is going to make me feel better.
I have been looking for ways to make it work. Like cutting back even more, skipping that credit card payment and my parents helping me with my car loan. That's a blessing! I have had a calling for a long time that I have ignored and now am begining to answer since now I know what I am supposed to do with it. I have started the process of opening up a daycare in my home.
The way I figure it, with child support, applying for the Hope for Homeowners program (and hopefully getting approved!) and generating an income with a home daycare (which I will love doing), I shouldn't be on food stamps long.
Well, then my ex-husband called me and gave me a heads up, I guess he isn't a total ass. He informed me that his comapny may have to lay him off before the end of the summer. *shock* There goes my last income!
Now what? Since really trying to dedicate my life to God and do things as he would like me to, things have been in constant choas! I was warned by my good Christian friends that Satan may start to attack me at all angles and boy how this may happened!
Now I don't know if I will be able to do any of my plans. But God has a plan, right? I wish he would just tell me already! :)
All I can think of is he is pushing me to move to Costa Rica to live with my husband. I have been hung up and worried about how it will effect my children, their relationship with their dad, with my parents, etc. Now I have debt here, how do I just walk away from that? I know, I know, if it is meant to happen it will.
In the meantime I just gotta continue with my daycare plans and keep teaching my classes and whatever will be will be.
Ok, god, it's all yours!